


Remembrance

by needlesteedles



Category: South Park
Genre: M/M, This may be a bit AUish, but this idea wouldn't leave me alone, sorry about that
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-28
Updated: 2017-08-27
Packaged: 2018-12-07 23:03:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 4,483
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11633778
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/needlesteedles/pseuds/needlesteedles
Summary: Kenny dies, and Craig remembers it.





	1. Connection

It was a strange relationship that Kenny and Craig had. They were so similar in many ways yet barely interacted with each other. Yet, even though there was no communication between the two, they had an undeniable, silent respect for each other. They probably would have been great friends in elementary school if fate deemed it. But in all honesty they really didn’t feel like expending the extra effort.  
Of course fate was a pretty fucked up thing and had other plans for them in high school.  
It was junior year of . Things hadn’t changed much in Kenny’s little town. Life was still hard, he was still friends with his same group, even with Cartman, though that connection was a little strained. Things had become a bit more boring now that they all grew up. For Kenny, maturing had been an awful experience. Sure, he had to do it a lot faster than most kids his age and that could have stunted any chance of him blooming into an adult gracefully. Truthfully it was more like he was flung into it headfirst without warning. He liked to think that maybe it was for the best but he can’t help feeling like it hardened him and isolated him from others.  
He felt like he couldn’t relate to anyone really, except for one person. Craig Tucker. If Kenny could find one word to explain Craig it would be as an enigma. Kenny noticed that for someone so as closed off as he is, he could almost tell what Craig was thinking. He was a very neutral boy and expressed himself in a muted simplistic way. You really had to squint in order to truly get to know him. For example, when he got pepperoni pizza in the lunch line, he liked to pick off the pepperonis, and stacked them in the left corner of his tray. It’s not like Kenny’s obsessed with Craig in particular, He knew what everyone who sat near him got for lunch. He only took a particular interest in what Craig was doing because of his quirky mannerisms. They amused him to no end and it was a nice distraction when his friends got into a stupid argument that he didn’t care about. Every once in awhile Craig would look up and notice him staring, raise an eyebrow and say something like “See something you like McCormick?” and every time Kenny would snort and say something along the lines of “You wish Tucker.” and mind his own business.  
Today was one of those days except Craig was in a shit mood. And instead of it going back to Kenny minding his business it ended in a pretty fucked way.  
“What is your obsession with me?!”  
Kenny’s eyes widened in shock, “s’cuse me?”  
Craig narrowed his eyes “ You know exactly what I fucking mean you asshole. Every goddamn day I see you staring at me and I’m pretty sick of it.”  
As Kenny was being berated he mused at how even though Craig seemed pretty pissed off at the moment, his voice barely got above his usual speaking level, and his face only had a trace of a frown.  
“Hey listen when I’m talking to you asshole.”  
Kenny smiled a crooked grin and retorted “Oh but Craig your face is way too pretty to not look at.” Craig seethed silently for a moment  
“Cut the crap McCormick.” His voice got darker than usual and his eyes were laser focused on the ground.  
Kenny was having too much fun to really notice or care. The thing was, as good as he was at reading people situations were not his strong suit, meaning he was oblivious to the hole he was digging himself in. When Craig got really pissed off, it barely took anything for him to snap and fly off the rails.  
Kenny chuckled “Oof you sound rough buddy,Tweek troubles? Actually now that I think about it he isn’t sitting with you today is he? Guess you must’ve fucked up.” At this point both Kenny and Craig’s group were focused on the two.  
Token tried to calm the situation “Craig, come on buddy, you can’t seriously want to waste your anger on him, just calm down.” He was about to get in between the two of them, but it was too late.  
Craig ran forward and punched Kenny square in the jaw, making a sick cracking noise. Kenny groaned and staggered forward. He swung a couple times and got a few good hits. Craig apparently had enough and went for blood. He Lunged himself at kenny, putting his full weight into him knocking him over. Kenny’s head smacked into the corner of a lunch table. Hard. 

Kenny cursed himself. He should have seen this happening. The last things he remembered was feeling blood trickling from his scalp onto the floor, he could feel blood pooling in his mouth and dribbling down his chin, His head hurt like a bitch and his vision was blurring, But the most haunting thing, was the blurred vision of Craig kneeling beside him, tears trailing down his cheeks while he screamed. Kenny couldn’t hear what though, his ears were ringing too hard. But he couldn’t help but marvel at Craig’s face. He had never seen so much raw emotion in his expression. And for lack of a better word it was mesmerizing. And it was all because of him. Granted it was because he was dying, and the occasion wasn’t a celebratory one at all. But it was something.  
Kenny died that day thinking about how Craig would look laughing.


	2. Like you've seen a ghost

Whenever Kenny Died he would sometimes go to heaven, but most of the time he ended up in hell. It wasn’t such a bad place, he had even met satan once. Though he never really stayed long enough to really have an opinion about it. The best way he could explain it was like a bad acid trip that always went away in the morning.   
Kenny woke up in the with no recollection of how he got in his bed, as usual. He winced as he recalled yesterday's fight. Of all the deaths he’s had. Being impaled, being run over, being mauled, dying of a head trauma was always a unique strange pain that made him sick to think about. Kenny didn’t get out of his ratty pajamas and instead put on jeans and his parka over them. It wasn’t that he was lazy or anything, It’s just that it was going to be cold as shit that day and he didn’t have anything else to wear. He trudged his way to the bus stop and sat while Kyle and Cartman bitched at each other, nothing out of the ordinary. They also had zero recollection of his death. Nothing unusual there either. 

Kenny walked to his locker and opened it. He couldn’t afford a lock so it was a pretty easy task. Returning to school after dying was always a surreal experience. He figured out that along with his friends not remembering him dying, reality warps the days of his deaths. Apparently from what he gathered, the fight between him and Craig never even happened.   
Kenny put his backpack in his locker and made his way towards his first class. He was about to go into the classroom until he caught a glance at Craig. Kenny frowned when he realised that Craig still had bruises on his face where Kenny had punched him. This stopped him right in his tracks. He watched Craig as he approached Kenny’s locker and moped by it. Finally he leaned on it “I’m sorry..” His voice was in a soft murmur but Kenny could still hear what he said loud and clear.   
Craig looked up from the locker and turned to stare him straight in the eyes, and froze. Kenny saw the unmistakable look of terror pass through his eyes. Craig slowly backed away and then turned around and ran. This exchange was totally strange and troubled Kenny deeply. What was that about anyway? He quietly walked into class.


	3. Understanding

The day passed slowly, Kenny slept through all his classes and only truly woke up for lunch. He sat down and started joking with Stan about something until he felt someone staring at him. He quickly glanced at Craig, the first thing he noticed was that he looked like shit. His hair was a mess, and his eyes were pink with dark purple circles underneath them. Kenny assumed that he was high, until he noticed how tiny his pupils were, as they bored into him. Kenny started to feel uncomfortable, they had been holding eye contact for a while. He cocked an eyebrow and waved at him awkwardly. Craig remained unmoving. Kenny looked away nervously, what the fresh hell was going on with Craig today? He was about to say something but then the bell rang. The rest of the day went by strangely to say the least. The classes he did have Craig in he ignored him as much as he could with only nervous glances towards him here and there.

Finally the last bell rang, saving kenny from the claustrophobic feeling he had all day. He was about to walk out the door when a hand came from behind and covered his mouth, pulling him into an empty hallway. Kenny would have panicked, but a side effect of being immortal is to stop giving shits. A familiar voice rasped in his ear   
“ You. Me. My car, now.”   
Kenny frowned and turned to look at Craig “Shit dude you could’ve just asked me like a normal fuckin human being.”   
Craig scoffed.   
“Like you would know about normal humans right Ken?”  
His tone had a hint of mockery. Kenny was confused. There was no way he could know, right?   
He hit with a wave of nauseousness   
“Lets… just go to your car okay?” 

Craig’s car was a dark blue 1981 Mercedes-Benz 300TD Wagon that wasn’t in the worst condition but had definitely seen better days. He got in the passenger side while Craig got into the driver's side. They drove around in silence for a while. Kenny was going to break the silence with some shitty joke to keep his sanity, but Craig spoke first.   
“You died yesterday.”


	4. A difficult topic

Kenny felt like he had twenty heart attacks, and knowing his death streak, he probably did. So Craig did know. Kenny felt extreme joy and extreme panic at the same time. He stayed silent.   
Craig continued with shaking breaths.   
“Y-you died, and it was my fault.”   
Kenny swallowed thickly.   
Craig stared fixedly at the wheel   
“ It may sound crazy, but I saw you bleed out. You died right next to me. It seemed so real, but now you're here? It doesn’t make sense but I-”  
Kenny cut Craig off before the poor boy made himself have a panic attack.  
“Craig, I know, I remember it all. You don’t have to freak yourself out.”   
Craig looked at him with a hard to read expression  
“So… if you remember then why the fuck are you so calm about it?”   
Kenny sighed and put his face in his hands.   
“I seriously never thought I would have to explain this shit, but uh, I’ll try my best?”  
Craig looked at him expectedly   
“So there's this thing that happens, I’ll die every once in awhile. It doesn’t really matter how. I just die, and then I’ll go to either heaven or hell, then wake up in my bed again with no one even noticing I was gone.”  
Craig thought about this, his breathing calmed considerably.   
“Dude that fucking sucks.” was all he could say.   
After that car ride Kenny noticed that Craig was more open to him. He could tell in little ways like how when he was caught staring again, Craig had a very subtle smile tug at his lips, barely visible But Kenny could tell it was there.   
“So what’s hell like?”   
The question caught Kenny off guard especially since Craig never approached him at school. Kenny shrugged  
“Boring as shit dude.”  
“That’s not really an answer but okay.”   
Kenny looked around nervously. They were both sitting in the cafeteria, with people in all directions.   
“Look, dude if you really wanna know I’ll tell you after school, okay? I don’t really want someone to overhear.”  
In all honesty Kenny wasn’t interested in talking with Craig about this topic or at all really. He was just hoping his response would get him to fuck off.   
Craig shrugged   
“Fine I guess. I’ll meet you in the parking lot after school then.”   
Well that was unexpected to say the least. He thought that Craig would be the last person to want to hang around him. He was a bit pissed off that he would have to waste the afternoon with Craig, but it wasn’t as if he had anything better to do that day anyway.   
“Yeah see you then.”


	5. Bloody knuckles

Kenny found Craig in his car rather easily in the parking lot. He was in the driver's side, with his window rolled down smoking a cigarette when Kenny got in  
“Hey.”   
Craig didn’t say anything in response but instead nodded in his direction.   
“Is there anywhere in particular you would like to go?”   
Kenny thought about it. He didn’t have any money, so they couldn’t really do anything like get food.   
“Stark's pond sounds nice.”  
The drive was quiet and long. Kenny felt kind of awkward given the circumstances. He turned to look at Craig, who looked like he had something on his mind. His stare was focused directly on the road and it almost looked like he was in a daze. Kenny thought back two days ago, when Craig was leaning over him as he was dying. The memory of how he cried was still in his head. It wasn’t like Kenny thought that Craig was a cold blooded monster, but he really didn’t expect him to show that much emotion ever. It was fascinating to Kenny. He wondered if there was anything else about Craig that would fascinate him.   
When they got to the pond the air was freezing, and the sky was grey and covered in clouds.   
Craig took one last drag of his cigarette and put it out on the ashtray on his dashboard  
“I guess one of these wouldn’t kill ya would they?”   
Kenny shrugged “Depends. I’m not a huge smoker”   
Craig rolled down his car window and immersed the car in the frigid cold. He took a big deep breath and when he exhaled, Kenny could see his breath trickle out in a frozen cloud. “So I guess we have a lot to talk about.”   
Craig stared intensely at Kenny. “Yeah I guess we do.”   
Kenny laid his seat all the way down. “ So I guess I’ll ask the first question before this gets anymore awkward. What were you so pissed about that it made you kill me?”  
Craig was silent for a moment. Kenny was almost sure that he wouldn’t respond.  
“ Tweek and I broke up.” Kenny’s eyes widened.   
“ Shit dude.”  
“Yeah it was pretty messy. We had been growing apart for a while, but we still stayed together. The more we allowed the relationship, the more we started to resent each other.”   
Craig put his forehead down against the steering wheel, hiding his expression from Kenny.   
“ I still really love Tweek, and it’s hard not to blame myself for what happened. I’m a shit boyfriend.” Kenny watched and listened silently. He didn’t plan on becoming anyone’s therapist today, but he was glad that Craig was opening up to him.   
“Don’t hate yourself too much for it dude. You guys were kind of forced into it to begin with.” Craig shrugged  
“Doesn’t really matter anymore. I have no choice but to get over it.”   
Craig sat up again and got another cigarette.  
“ My turn for a question.”  
“Shoot”  
“How come this only happens to you?”   
“Dunno. Guess God just hates me or something.”   
Craig raised an eyebrow   
“ So you’re saying that you just randomly die sometimes, come back like it’s no big deal, and you have no clue why.”  
“Yeah that pretty much sums it up.” Craig squinted at him.   
“How… often do you die.” Kenny cackled   
“Like almost five times a fucking month.” Craig’s eyes widened.  
“And this is the first time Anyone’s remembered? That’s fucked up.”  
“Yeah you get used to it after a while. At first it was scary and lonely. I thought maybe I was crazy or my parents were slipping me drugs.”   
Craig offered Kenny a cigarette and a light, and he accepted. Kenny thought of this as maybe Craig’s way of wanting to be friends.   
“Do you think I’ll remember the next time you die?” Kenny shrugged   
“Dunno. Guess there's only one way to find out.”   
“That’s pretty fucking morbid.”   
“Yeah I guess it’s in my nature.” Craig nudged Kenny’s shoulder.   
“Hey get out of the car. I got an idea.” Kenny finished the last of his cigarette and blew out the smoke.   
“Oh? Don’t think I like the sound of this.” Craig rolled his eyes   
“You will. Come on.”   
Kenny sighed and put his seat back up. He got out and faced Craig. “So? What’s your idea?”   
“Punch me.”   
“...What?”   
“You heard me. Punch me.”   
“Dude. The fuck.” Craig grew impatient.   
“Kenny come on. Think of it as payback for murdering you.” Kenny shook his head.  
“ I dunno what you’re on or if this is some weird kinky thing but I’m not into it.” Craig sighed   
“Kenny I’m gonna put it this way. You’re fucked up, I’m fucked up and right now us beating the shit out of each other is the only catharsis I can think of. So punch me, you goddamn pussy or I’ll punch you.” Kenny couldn’t really argue with that logic so he punched Craig square in the middle of his shitty face. Craig reeled back and smiled   
“That’s the spirit.” He lunged at Kenny again but instead of hitting a cafeteria table Kenny fell flat on his ass in the snow. The two boys tackled each other until they both had bloody noses, messed up clothes, black eyes, and scraped up knuckles. They laid in the snow panting hard. They were both tired, yet weirdly happy.   
“I told you it would be cathartic.” Kenny cracked a wry smile.  
“Yeah whatever, shut up asshole.”  
“You don’t have any broken bones do you?”   
“Nah. I'm pretty bruised though” They smiled at each other and got in Craig's car and drove away.


	6. For one who smiles so little

The Mutual respect that both boys shared for each other grew after the day in the park. And soon they had a ritual of everyday after school going on wild car rides and doing questionably illegal things. Kenny was having the time of his life. He never knew that Craig Tucker could be more interesting than how he thought he was already. He found that he liked Craig a lot and each day they spent together the worse the feeling got. Of course he tried denying it at first because of the circumstances. Craig had just broken up with Tweek and they had only just started to hang out. Eventually Kenny gave up trying to deny it and instead suffered silently. 

Kenny laid on his bed, barely able to sleep. He never really slept well, and most nights would stay up incredibly late. He jumped when he heard something hit his window. He looked out and saw Craig on the snowy ground below. Kenny opened the window and jumped out. Probably a stupid idea since there was a chance the world wanted to kill him at that moment.  
“Hey asshole” Kenny smiled  
“That was quite the greeting Romeo.” Craig said nothing and turned away away from him  
“Come on I got something to show you.” They both walked in silence in the cold night, walking through a forest until they reached a clearing that Kenny never knew existed before. Craig sat down in the snow and Kenny followed.  
“ So how did you find this place?” Craig shrugged  
“I don’t usually want to go home so I spend as much time wandering around places as I can. I decided maybe you would want to come with me on one of my trips, even though it literally is like, 10 minutes away from your house.” Kenny felt a bit honored that Craig let him come with him.  
“So, what are we gonna do?” Craig smiled and threw a handful of snow at him. He gasped and recoiled “You bitch!” Kenny laughed and kicked some snow back at him, keeping his freezing hands in his pockets. Craig started to run and Kenny followed close behind, trying his damndest to catch him. He had almost caught up until his foot slid on an icy patch and he plummeted into a tree, one of the branches impaling him completely. “AUGH FUCK!” He screamed as the pain washed over him. Craig turned around and bolted straight to him. “Oh god oh no shit.” Kenny Kept his composure and reached out for Craig. “Shhh it’s okay. I’m gonna be okay.” He smiled at him weakly as blood seeped down his chin. He didn’t know how long he had left, so he continued to comfort Craig as much as he could. He hated to see the boy in pain like this, but he still felt a warmth that Craig felt so much for him. Although he could be crying at the traumatizing experience of seeing his friend bleed out twice, Kenny liked to think that maybe it was because Craig truly, deeply cares about him. Kenny stroked Craig’s face softly and Craig looked fiercely into his eyes, tears streaming from his gorgeous brown ones. “I’m not going to forget. I don’t want to.” Kenny smiled and released one last shuddering breath and went limp.


	7. Unfeeling asshole

School was awkward on monday. Craig sat next to Kenny at the lunch table which had become a usual thing for them.  “so I remembered again.” kenny nodded “I figured you would.” they sat in silence for a painfully long time. Craig finished his lunch and stared at the space between him and kenny. “I did a lot of thinking last night and I want to talk to you about it.” Kenny noted the serious tone in his voice and decided maybe it wasn’t such a good idea to joke. “well you know I'm always free. I’ll come by tonight okay?” He was honestly a bit concerned for Craig. He looked like shit again and his voice was hoarse. He smiled reassuringly at him, he didn't know what else to do. 

Kenny didn’t know why he felt hesitant when walking to Craig's house. Usually seeing Craig was exciting for him, but this time there was a bit of dread in him that got a bit heavier with each step. He thought to earlier that day. Craig just wasn't himself that day. He acted more like the person Kenny thought Craig used to be before he knew him, completely withdrawn.  
He knocked on Craig's door. Usually, he would let himself in but he had no clue if that was a good idea today. Craig answered and said nothing, just let him in. The two went to the backyard and Craig offered him a cigarette. Kenny watched Craig's face fixedly and couldn't help but notice how pale his normally very tan face looked in the light of the snowy sky, surrounded by cigarette smoke. Kenny decided he thought it was a very beautiful scene. Craig took a shaky breath "not gonna lie dude the way you died the other day is really messing with me. I haven't been able to sleep right." Kenny offered him a bleak smile, trying to be comforting. "It was pretty bad wasn't it? I'm really sorry."   
"I don't know how to deal with it ken, I thought that maybe I could react to it like I always do when someone gets hurt , and just not give a shit. But I guess you're different to me and I don't know why. I'm confused and I don't know why the fuck I'm making it your problem, but I am." Kenny listened as Craig continued to rant, working himself up more and more. He was afraid to move, to do anything to upset the fragile boy next to him. Craig wasn't looking at him, instead he buried his face in a sleeve, muffling his nasal voice. Kenny was careful with his next words and spoke softly. "Craig... you aren't making this my problem, I needed to know this. I'm happy you feel this comfortable around me." Craig said nothing for a while, keeping his face hidden, hiding from the world and the reality of the situation. "It's stupid. You're the one who dies all the fucking time and I'm the one messed up about it. You should be mad at me, running off and never talking to me again for being a bitch, so why don't you?" Kenny shrugged "not gonna lie you are being a bit bitchy, but you're being honest so I don't really give a shit. I'd rather you show me what's going on with you." Craig was looking at kenny his eyes glossy and red. Kenny couldn't place what he was seeing in them. He liked to think he's gotten better at reading Craig, but he was honestly still an enigma. Craig was miserable. "I didn't want you to see that side of me." Kenny was confused. "Your bitchy side? I see that all the time." Craig smiled bitterly   
"The side of me that's out of control that makes me unable to handle my shitty problems without making them someone else's, because I'm too scared and too much of a coward to face them. I hate that part of me so much, I pretend like I don't have feelings, like I'm an uncaring asshole, so I don't have to rely on someone."   
Craig's words made kenny's view of him change immediately. He realized that maybe the two of them were the same. Two hurt, confused boys mad at the world and everyone in it. "Craig I want your shitty ass problems to be my shitty ass problems, okay? I want you to not be an uncaring asshole around me, or be an uncaring asshole. Be whoever you are, whatever your comfortable with and not give a fuck about what I think or what the world thinks, because they don't matter. Craig looked at him With a fondness in his eyes, warmth were cold previously resided on his face. He punched kenny affectionately on the arm. "You're supposed to be a dumbass hick, how come you're so god damn good with words?" Kenny flashed him a toothy grin "all apart of my charm I guess."


End file.
